Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
everyone is single if you try hard enough
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
