you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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