I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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