So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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