More tranny stories later!
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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