Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
