Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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