so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
