You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
