And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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