okay pat passed out under dana's car
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
