Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just found puke in my bra..
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You are the jesus of drinking
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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