He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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