words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
