I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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