We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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