Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
