no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Are we still banned from the library?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
