mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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