Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
