so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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