Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
