ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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