We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
