Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
