Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
