when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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