but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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