Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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