does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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