I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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