eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
