why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
