I CAN MOONWALK!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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