why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
