In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
