Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
