We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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