I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
