How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
