If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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