The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
