Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
