rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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