he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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