What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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