So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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