I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Randomize