i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
