How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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