I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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