god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
