if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
