Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
