Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
