hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize