The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
