If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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