Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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