A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
