i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
