i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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