so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
