Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
