dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
