I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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