so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
