We're like a lot better than the average bears
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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