please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
