If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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