Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
