So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
