Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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