They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
